During my time as a university student, I encountered hundreds and thousands of activists balancing the problems of the world and their personal lives. It always boggled me how they manage to find the time and energy to engage in both: chasing systemic change and holding on to their sanity.

According to one of my activist friends, ‘Most problems we have at the personal level are rooted in the problems of the system.’

That has always struck me as something simple, obvious, and reasonable. Yet I always had a hunch it was more than meets the eye: a lingering thought that most were more personal than systemic, not the other way around.

I always believed most of them took action against the system because it was easier and had lesser consequences. Seems a bit backward thinking but give me a chance to explain.

When dealing with personal problems; particularly ones within the household or family, consequences are much harsher and more direct. Examples include getting kicked out, losing financial support, or estranging family members. People in such situations, instead, turn their sight elsewhere to get small wins: find an escape from their realities.

I think this even extends to matters outside the household like losing a loved one, falling into a deep depression, sustaining a permanent injury, or having a near-death experience.

The Purpose of our Grief

Escapism tends to get a bad rap for its connotation of running away or avoiding problems. Yet the people I’ve met and described have turned this into a catalyst for good.

I encountered a line from Assassin’s Creed Origins that perfectly encapsulates this.

“I will never stop mourning what we lost. Never. But I must make a world that is larger than our griefs…”

Aya says this to Bayek in response to his request for her to stay.

Bayek, lost in his despair and grief from losing their only son, seeks to protect the only treasure left in his life. He knows Aya needs no coddling, but a little bit of protection would not hurt anyone.

Despite understanding Bayek’s pain, Aya refuses his offer. She knows there is more to do than lament and suffer. Instead, she insists on serving Cleopatra and urges Bayek to take on a mission: to serve a greater purpose and pull himself out of the depression brought on by their son’s death.

The most obvious reason for Aya’s action is altruism and generosity, but this could simply be escapism for some, and that is fine.

From another perspective, Aya sees grief and loss as something more than gloom and despair much like Vision does in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

In one scene of the television series WandaVision, the titular characters talk about the intricacies of life, love, loss, and the whole world. One of Vision’s responses to Wanda was, “What is grief, if not love persevering?”

I don’t even think I can explain how this works or how true it is, it just is.

The World Owes Us Nothing

I do not think the world owes us anything. We can be mad, sad, fearful, or resentful of what the world brings us but there is truly nothing we can do to fight it. We may seek revenge, chase down our oppressors, or try to change immutable realities in the world, but nothing will ever take away what has happened to us.

If everything stays the same regardless of what happens, then what is there for us to do?

We may not change the world or remove ourselves from our grief, but I believe we can create better spaces for our fellows to get them through trying times. I do not think anyone, even Aya, truly believes the world can be rid of all that is hurtful and evil. However, I think they could be avoided, mitigated, or prepared for more than how things are right now.

Our emotions and experiences are more than simple reminders of our painful past, they could be our guide to better days for us and everyone.

Grief is a friend that may help us along the way.

P.S. I cannot hold myself back from endorsing Assassin’s Creed Origins so here’s a short non-sponsored advert for it below.

If you want a game that deeply tackles loss, grief, and redemption, then Assassin’s Creed Origins is the perfect game for you. Other games talk about redemption, forgiveness, overcoming fears, and the like but I believe Assassin’s Creed Origins succinctly shows overcoming grief and loss in the best way possible. It even comes with a groundbreaking feature that I think should be adopted as a tool for education.